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Standing at the top of stairs leading to a door.  Stairs made of stone, carved and set in place, each stone dedicated to my walk.  Each stone fostered in love, carried to lie just so, for my steps to continue onward.

I have come to this place, after countless steps, to decide my reality.

Stairs beginning somewhere on my life journey leading up from that human plane that we have all been set.  All finding our stairway, some stumbling onto, some deliberately finding.

Each choosing to step onto or look another direction.

Our human experience sculptured by another’s reality. Reflected to us through their eyes.  Our inner knowingness bringing us to this step.

Blending also with those we have met and have chosen to spend some time with.  Others that our lives have passed and have noticed their offering to us.

Now standing alone with our wealth of knowledge, ciphered and deciphered countless times, mingling thoughts and feelings, coming to the top only to find a door..

I knock… the door swings open…  feelings rush in, seemingly overwhelming.  Caught in the whirling of lifes eagerness to be whole.  Fire in my belly, light searing my senseless emotions.

A step back can be taken, an effortless movement, as a feather pushed out of a nest glides back to the ground.  I want that comfort that the step back would give to me.  Knowing, to step forward is as fearful as only I can imagine..

Standing fast, my knee bending forward, fear as heavy as lead,

My body is moved forward by that spirit of knowingness.

There can be no other way through my fear.

No other course will I allow myself.

My leg moving slowly like that of a chase scene of a terrifying nightmare. With all effort focused on my body to move onward.

Fear engulfing every atom of my flesh.

I will not cease, I will not be deterred.

Moving forward at any rate, better than that backward motion.

I cry aloud for a comfort.  I cry aloud for a peace.

I step across the threshold.

The spell broken…

       The light fading in…        


John Donovan

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